I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
