is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
