I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just cropdusted the office
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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