I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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