break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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