So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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