u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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