i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
