Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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