Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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