so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Someone came in the potted fern
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
