This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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