chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize