Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
we should paint friendship bongs
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