wrigley field is MILF paradise
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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