My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
