i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
