Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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