So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
