i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
