the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
