Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Found the puke drawer
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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