I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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