I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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