Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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