This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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