Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
