in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Houston, we have a squirter
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
