Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize