There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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