How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
