so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
