I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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