I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
