She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
