if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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