I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
