It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
