11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
