If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
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What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
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This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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