I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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