Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
