Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
