how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
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Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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