We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have post one night stand depression
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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