How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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