I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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