I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just pee around me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
