I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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