hotel room ftw
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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