Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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