so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
