Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
