i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
