What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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