i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
