Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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