I bet he comes in French.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
