She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
