ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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