The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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