You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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