I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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