I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
